My Favourite Facts About Scotland
Forget kilts and haggis (although, let's be honest, they're pretty great too), it's time to delve into the real reason Scotland's so darn interesting: their brains! Yes, you read that right, brains. Apparently, according to a hefty tome titled "The Scottish Enlightenment" by Arthur Herman, there was a whole era where Scots weren't just battling sheep for the best hillside real estate, they were also battling big ideas.
The echoes of last year's visit are still lingering, like the faint strains of a lone bagpiper battling the wind. But this time, I come armed with something even more crucial than a good waterproof jacket: I've finally finished those travel companions I brought last year – the books! Yes, you heard that right. It seems the dramatic scenery and whisky-fuelled adventures were a tad too distracting. No worries though, those well-thumbed pages are coming with me for round two – and this time, I fully intend to conquer them alongside the Munroes.
Now, without further ado and in no particular order of importance, here's a wee dram of truth, served up with a hefty helping of my favourite things about Scotland: – seriousness isnae guaranteed, mind you -
Loch Ness holds more water than all the lakes, rivers, canals and reservoirs in the whole of England and Wales combined! The deepest point in Loch Ness is 126 Fathoms which is twice the average depth of the North Sea! This is why you can't find Nessie 🦕🏴
They invented the world’s smallest unit of measurement used in daily conversations. Which one that is, depends on the participants and the topic of discussion: wee bit / standard bawhair / the midge’s bawhair
The Edinburgh Seven were the first women in the UK to be allowed to matriculate at university in 1869. They studied medicine and when they went to sit their first anatomy exam a literal riot broke out amongst men who thought letting women become doctors was an outrage. After they graduated they weren't allowed to practice as doctors in the UK despite passing all the same exams as the men. Sophia Jex-Blake went on to move to London and set up the London School of Medicine for Women. When Scotland started allowing women to gain a medical license, she moved back to Edinburgh and became th UK's first female doctor.
A Scotsman invented the decimal point. The Chinese invented decimalisation, but it took a Scotman to make it easier to read. This bit of trivia is also on an info board in a churchyard in Edinburgh city centre. (St John's on Lothian Rd.)
When terrorists attempted to attack Glasgow Airport, the police had to go in and rescue them from the locals. While on fire, a terrorist got kicked in the balls. The guy who kicked him, kick him so hard he broke his foot. Then went into politics. You can’t make this up. (John Smeaton, a former baggage handler at the airport, look him up on the interwebs) PS: Billy Connolly describing the event was hysterical.
Their national motto is, quite literally, 'fuck around and find out'. Nemo me impune lacessit (touch me not with impunity).
The first written use of the word 'fuck' was in a Scotsman's poem, way back somewhen. In time, fuck became the only unit of measurement in Scotland, bawhair notwithstanding. …big as fuck, wide as fuck, tall as fuck , short as fuck are all standard units.
The unicorn is their animal
Colour photography. See James Clerk Maxwell, a true genius polymath. He developed a system of using three colours which was actually still in use until the development of digital TV. His first photo was of tartan!
Scotland (via the Royal Bank of Scotland) invented the overdraft and thus created every financial crisis in the last 200 years. Also, the Bank of England was invented by a Scotsman.
A Scotsman also invented the US Navy, they also invented the postage stamp, postcards, gospel music, golf and ice hockey, chloroform and penicillin. And Grand Theft Auto. Grand Theft Auto is full of references to Scotland. (my favourite is that the stock exchange is called the BAWSAQ).
Scotland used to have window tax. Many moons ago… That’s why you see many old buildings with bricked up windows. This is how we have the term ‘Daylight Robbery’.
They have more words for rain than the Inuit have for snow: pishin doon, dreichr, smirr, also terms descriptive of the type of rain: It's battering doon (heavy), it's spitterin out there (light), chucking it (heavy), pouring doon (heavy)
The South of Scotland area, pretty much up to the Forth/Clyde isthmus, are part of the Hen Ogledd (The Old North) of ancient Welsh Literature. They were originally Welsh speaking (Brythonic) before the arrival and development of Gaelic and English, in the early Medieval period. The Merlin of the King Arthur legend - called Lailoken - was supposedly based on a Scottish warrior who became mad with battle lust from circa 5-6th century, and was eventually murdered around the Drumelzier/Stobo area of South Lanarkshire. Also the contemporary King of Dumbarton Rock, Rhydderch Heael, the original seat of power in the Strathclyde area (Alt Clud) had a magical sword that sprung forth a flame and was regarded and one of the legendary treasures of Britain.
By now I think it’s fair to say that the Scots are pretty good at inventing things.
…and on a more serious note:
Rise of Literacy: Scotland, despite a harsh climate and limited resources, became one of the most literate societies in Europe during the Enlightenment.
Scientific Revolution: Scottish thinkers like James Hutton (geology) and Joseph Black (chemistry) made significant contributions to scientific understanding. They emphasized observation and experimentation, laying the groundwork for modern science.
Economic Ideas: Adam Smith's "Wealth of Nations" is a cornerstone of modern economics. His ideas on free markets and the division of labor continue to influence economic policy worldwide.
Social and Political Reform: The Scottish Enlightenment led to discussions on social justice and political rights. Thinkers like David Hume questioned traditional authority and advocated for a more democratic society.
Global Impact: The ideas of the Scottish Enlightenment spread throughout Europe and the Americas, influencing revolutions, political reform movements, and intellectual discourse.
Alright, so after all this, you might be thinking, "Is this guy just obsessed with Scotland, or what?" Well, the answer's a resounding "maybe." But here's the thing: Scotland's not just about Nessie dodging depths and inventing ways to measure "a wee bit." There's a real wellspring of brilliance hiding beneath that self-deprecating humour (seriously, have you ever tried complimenting a Scot? It's a national sport to deflect praise!).
The Scottish Enlightenment, with its emphasis on reason, education, and a good dram (okay, maybe not that last one), laid the groundwork for the modern world. From economics to science, their ideas sparked revolutions and reshaped societies. And don't get me started on the sheer volume of things they invented – everything from the colour photograph to Grand Theft Auto (seriously, look it up!).
So yeah, I'm fascinated by Scotland. It's a place where brilliance and buffoonery go hand-in-hand, where history whispers from every cobbled street, and where the people, despite the weather, have a fire in their bellies (and probably a dram in their hands). It's a reminder that even the most unlikely places can birth incredible ideas that change the world. And that, my friends, is why I keep digging deeper. Because who wouldn't want to learn more about the folks who, in their own way, invented the way we think?