Deep within the ancient stone walls of the monastery, where solemn chants echo and candlelight flickers upon parchment scrolls, there exists one brother whose devotion leans less toward theological contemplation and more toward the mysteries of fermentation. Where others seek enlightenment through scripture, he seeks it through the perfect brew—often with unintended consequences.
It was in these very halls that the infamous Wormwood Incident of 1257 unfolded, when Brother Eustace, under the influence of an ill-advised herbal infusion, composed an entire hymn in Latin before succumbing to what was later described as ‘divine fever’. Or take the Yarrow Brew of 1263, which sparked a spirited (if slightly intoxicated) theological debate over the nature of fasting ales, leading to what some historians suspect was an early, beer-fueled attempt at Reformation. At least one novice was last seen gesturing wildly about "liberation from monastic hierarchy" before being carried off for a cold compress and a stern lecture.
These are but a few of the tales cautiously preserved by wary monks, recorded with trembling hands, and locked away for centuries—lest history repeat itself.
Welcome to Tales from the Cloister, where faith, fermentation, and the fundamental laws of reason collide in spectacular fashion.
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Part One - The Brew That Nearly Start A Reformation
Brother Percival had long accepted that solitude was both a gift and a hazard. It was a gift, granting him silent communion with the Almighty; a hazard, because the mind, when left alone too long, tended to wander into weird territories. Some monks, in their idle hours, took to copying sacred texts or gardening. Brother Percival, however, had taken to brewing.
In theory, it all started innocently. A small experiment here, a slight refinement there. The other brothers at the monastery appreciated a hearty ale, and if the Church insisted on monopolizing hops, well, one had to get creative. There were other ways—unconventional ways—to craft a drink not just potent, but utterly memorable. Yet as Percival stared at his latest batch, a faintly luminescent brew bubbling away in his candlelit chamber, he found himself muttering, “I may have gone too far this time.”
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Part Two - Recovered Monastic Notes on the Wormwood Incident
"The Wormwood Incident, Anno Domini 1257
"It is hereby recorded that on the evening of the Wormwood Experiment, Brother Percival did, with good intent but questionable wisdom, infuse his latest brew with the bitter herb of absinthe. This was done under the belief that it would ‘purge sin from the body and ‘enhance theological clarity.’ It instead led to:Brother Eustace spontaneously composing a Latin hymn of no known origin (translation attempts are ongoing, as half of it appears to be angelic gibberish).
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Part Three -
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